Wanderings in the Wilderness

Numbers 13: 17 When Moses sent them to explore Canaan, he said, "Go up through the Negev and on into the hill country. 18 See what the land is like and whether the people who live there are strong or weak, few or many.

Numbers 13: 27 They gave Moses this account: "We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit. 28 But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there.

Deut. 1: 26 But you were unwilling to go up; you rebelled against the command of the LORD your God. 27 You grumbled in your tents and said, "The LORD hates us; so he brought us out of Egypt to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us. 28 Where can we go? Our brothers have made us lose heart. They say, 'The people are stronger and taller than we are; the cities are large, with walls up to the sky. We even saw the Anakites there.' "
29 Then I said to you, "Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. 30 The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, 31 and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."

This year has been fraught with personal challenges for me. My wife, daughter, and I recently moved to Queen Creek, AZ in September 2006. We put our Mesa townhouse up for sale over the summer trusting God to allow our little home to sell in a very competitive market. Our prayer and thinking was that if God caused our house to sell, this would be a sign to us that this is exactly what He wanted.

We had been praying through our involvement with a church-plant that would be on the east side of town, but none of the houses were in our price-range out there and the only thing available was on the west side.

We weren’t sure at the time of putting our house up for sale whether or not God wanted us to pursue this or the church-plant, so we stepped out on faith trusting Him to give us an answer in His time.

‘Lo and behold, a couple months later, an offer was made on our house (for our asking price) and we had three weeks to get out! Since we hadn’t found a house because we honestly thought God was closing this door, we went out the next day to a community with houses for sale in QC.

When we arrived, the models we saw were appealing but we weren’t sure. By God’s sovereignty we found out from the builder by “accident” that there was another house almost ready to go- the previous owner backed out after all the upgrades were put in. When we saw it, we knew right away that this was the home for us. The price was right since they were desperate to sell it now, it was a corner lot with a bigger back yard, it had everything we were looking for and so much more, including a large living room and family room for ministry!

Everything went so smoothly until our first month moved in. Since then things started breaking left and right (some weren’t covered), unexpected payments, the commute to my job started taking a toll on me, my car was stolen, and on and on. Even the ministry we were hoping on and the church-plant seemed to be non-existent or else come to a vapid, stagnant, screeching halt. We became discouraged; or rather, I became discouraged. My wife was trusting God all the way and I started grumbling: “Why are you doing this God? Why did you bring us all the way out here just to sit and do nothing while everything falls apart?”

I became moody, and started complaining every time anything went wrong. By no coincidence, right at the height of my frustration, I had been studying the accounts in the Pentateuch after Israel’s Exodus and their 40 year wanderings in the desert. I slowly started to realize, I am just like them. I used to think “Oh how could these ungrateful Israelites complain like that after all God did for them?” Wham! It hit me like a ton of bricks- I was an ancient Israelite!

God brought the Israelites out of bondage and slavery and they grumbled and complained and turned from their commitment to morality time and time again. God in His infinite grace and patience dealt with them appropriately but honored His covenant with them nonetheless. At one point, the promised land of Canaan was in sight and they said God could not deliver them from the giants and people of the land and thus resigned to thinking God’s plan a failure. Even while the subsequent penalty of having to wander for 40 years in the wilderness loomed over their heads, they grumbled and complained to God then too.

I was reacting the same way. God may not have delivered me from slavery to Egypt, but He brought me- actually bought- me from slavery to sin. He honored our prayers and brought us out to a beautiful house and began to prepare us for what He had in store. As soon as things started to go against my timeline and the way I thought things should go, I began to complain, to get angry, and even turn from God.

Thankfully, He reminded me that He is God, that He has a plan, and it is not mine to question, but to obey. He answered our prayers and brought us out to Queen Creek where I thought everything else was going to fall into place instead finding a time of wandering in the ‘wilderness’. Once I began to realize the fact that I was essentially shaking my fist at God, and who am I to do such a thing, I began to take a different perspective. I began to be at peace and rest in His sovereignty. Who was I to look over the top of the hill and see the land of giants and think that God somehow made a mistake?

Slowly I started ‘rolling with the punches’ and my love and trust in God became fortified. Not too long after that, things started to click and make sense ministry wise. The Valero’s house got sold and they bought a new house in the area of where we were planning for the church-plant (this was one of the main hold-ups of progression of this ministry), and Steve came to a realization concerning planning and strategy for this ministry venture.

Thus, Ekklesia seems to be moving again (though admittedly never stopped, I simply now see God’s hand more clearly). More to come on the exciting development of a new church called Ekklesia in future posts.

God is good, and I am so glad He is patient with me, a stiff-necked, doubting, and wandering Ancient Israelite!