Unlearning the Love of the Dagger

For those that read “Seeing the Trees Through
the Forest” this post is a sort of follow up with that one. Recently, I have become convicted on spending more time and energy with those ‘trees’ directly in front of me. No more so evident has this been than this week. Through the heartache of events that took place this week (though not out of the woods yet, pun intended), I have been confronted with an ugly truth. I do not hate sin enough- in fact, having seen the effects of sin in the lives of those I love, I have realized that not only am I no better then those who have stumbled or worse, I myself have even bathed in the tempting yet polluting waters of sin.

What is sin? Sin is that which separates us from God. It is anything that is contrary to the nature and law of God. Since God is holy and perfect, this encompasses much. I have heard that the etymology of the English word sin derives from and ancient archery term. The word sin, meant to ‘miss the mark.’ There would be one small read dot on a target and if the archer missed by a hair or by a mile, it was called a sin. Since God is and has set that standard, when we as humans miss that mark of perfection (even if just once), we are contaminated with sin and are separated from him because his holy nature requires that he have no part of sin. That is why Jesus had to die for our sins, to pay the debt we could not pay and restore that separated love relationship with God. Jesus was the final sacrifice and completely redeems those who accept this free gift.

So, now that I stand forgiven of my debt that I could never pay, and even now possess a positive balance in my spiritual account that I could never count, I should want to live a holy life and do good in gratitude and love for what he did for me. But many times, I don’t. The cage of sin that enslaved me has been opened, the chains and shackles removed, but I still try and find comfort in that dank, rotting cell.

I once read a quote from Charles Spurgeon that for the life of me I cannot find, so I will paraphrase. Basically, our love of sin is like watching our brother being murdered and then loving and cherishing the very dagger that is stained with his blood. Though he undoubtedly put it much more eloquently, the meaning is the same. Sin killed my Savior, Jesus Christ, and I have fallen in love with the very instrument of his death!

I have come to the conclusion, on this Good Friday, that I have not taken the reality of sin and its effects seriously enough. I have meandered into battle with no shield, sword or armor. Instead of taking the offensive, I have barely put up a defensive struggle while I allow the ravages of sin to assail me.

No more! I am tired of entertaining, flirting, and playing with the fire of sin that killed my God. I am tired of watching loved ones go through pain and suffering because I was too afraid to say something regarding sin all in the name of placating the masses. I am tired of watching sin ruin people’s lives. Most of all, I am tired of allowing that destructive force to have power and control over my life.

Sin always hurts the innocent (though there are no real innocents) and I need to remember that I am no better than anyone, and that I am capable of the most vile and unthinkable acts of evil. Perhaps then I will be more bold, more purposeful, more intent on pursuing Christ. I hate sin, but I don’t hate it enough though I am starting to. Seeing it’s effect on those around me as given me perspective and it’s time I gird myself up for the daily battle that lay before me and live each day as if it were my last.

I don’t want to love my Lord’s murder weapon anymore. I don’t want to pretend that everything is ok and that we are not in the midst of a battle of souls. I want to rush headlong into the battle armed with the Word of God and “storm hell with a squirt gun!”

It’s time to fight back.